Tired. Also, theories.

[logicbutton]

I am never moving again.

On that note, I mentioned elsewhere yesterday (today? It was like one in the morning) that I should maybe transfer my database of Homestuck meta to my journal, so that...I can look at it from different computers, I guess. Wait, "meta" sounds too academic. It's a bunch of theories (some more likely than others) and questions and also some headcanon.

Questions

• Question: How are dreamselves born?
  
• Question: How did Jade first wake up on Prospit?
  
• Question: What would happen if the alpha version and a doomed version of the Hero of Time were to die on a quest bed together? (What if Jack had shown up next to Dave's LOHAC quest bed a few minutes earlier and killed them both right there, for example?)
  
• Question: How did Grandpa get into the medium? (For some reason, I keep thinking this one has been answered. But no, it hasn't.)
  
• Question: How did the guardians know so much about the game?
  
• Question: What the hell is Bro's deal?
  
• Question: What are the Felt? Creations of Lord English? If so, why would he create them?
  
• Question: How did Terezi get her lusus?
  
• Question: Can Terezi "see" in the dark, or does she have as much trouble as any sighted person?
  
• Question: Where did Mindfang get her 8D8? What was her 8^8 attack?
  
• Question: Why, exactly, did Darkleer spare the Disciple's life?
  
• Question: Why would Jake ask somebody he believes to be from the 1920s whether he's seen Weekend at Bernie's?
  
• Question: How can Jake possibly believe that he has ANYTHING figured out?

Theories (some old, some new)

• Theory: Most trolls don't have Ancestors. In fact, Sgrub players aside, there are no such thing. Ancestor lore originated with Doc Scratch to ensure that Vriska would have a role model to provide her with the direction she needed to grow strong.
• Theory: The trolls coming from a scratched session was foreshadowed in [S] Past Karkat: Wake Up. Karkat created 24 wigglers, but we only see twelve of them, and they are strongly implied to be him and his friends as opposed to their ancestors (e.g. Equius and Nepeta are together, Gamzee looks stoned). Presumably, he created them first and their ancestors second. John, who comes from an unscratched session, created the guardians first and himself and his friends second.
• Theory: The circumstances of god-tier death cannot be precisely defined because they are governed by the laws of narrative. God-tier players can only die when their death would have sufficient dramatic impact. As it happens, there is no version of any universe in which such deaths are neither "heroic" nor "just".
• Theory: The outcome of the 3X Showdown was an instance of ancestral role reversal. The Grand Highblood enslaved the Dolorosa and ordered the execution of her son, so Kanaya crotch-kicks Gamzee into a chasm. Mindfang raped the Dolorosa, so Kanaya punches Vriska in the face. Dualscar had the Dolorosa assassinated, so Kanaya murders Eridan.
• Theory: The Warhammer of Zillyhoo started in Gamzee's possession and went to Liv Tyler later, rather than the other way around. Corollary: It is literally the same hammer, and had to be because copies can no longer be made. Zillyhoo costs a zillion grist - the only way to create something that costs a nonexistent number of pieces of grist is via mIrAcLe, and mIrAcLeS don't happen to Gamzee anymore.
• Theory: Trolls are hermaphroditic. Corollary: They have variable gender identities. Second-Tier Corollary: They traditionally adopt the gender that corresponds to the sex or (in the case of a sexless or hermaphroditic species) gender of their lusus.
• Crack Theory: Pantskat was actually Karkat channelling the Sufferer in preparation for "dealing with" Gamzee, like Vriska channeled Mindfang in the offshoot timeline. (CONFIRMED????????)
• Theory: The kids' and trolls' universes and incipispheres and dream bubbles and offshoot timelines etc. etc. etc. comprise the entirety of paradox space.
• Crack Theory: Everything in paradox space is imagined into being by GPI.
• Theory: When Karkat was on LOTAM with Gamzee, the reason they were just chilling rather than fighting imps or whatever was that Gamzee needed someone to talk to about Tavros.
• Theory: Mindfang's dice were alchemized in either the scratched kids' session or the pre-scratch troll session from the code in Vriska's or John's alchemy excursus, and then sent to the scratched trolls' session via shenanigans. Possibly Doc Scratch was the one who originally gave them to her, directly or otherwise.
• Semi-Crack Theory That I Hope Isn't True: Nanna (the one who becomes a sprite) and Grandpa (the one who shows up in the pre-Scratch Medium and then gets stuffed) are literally the same people as Jane and Jake. They somehow end up traveling back to the pre-Scratch session. Jake starts going by "Harley" for whatever reason (maybe to assume the identity of the boy he switches places with) (OMG maybe that boy goes on to become Lord English), and Jane simply changes her name when she gets married. Evidence: Nanna says she climbed an echeladder in her youth, and the kids we understood to be Nanna and Grandpa in the flashback scene and in Nanna's story were never explicitly stated to be them.

Headcanon

• Headcanon: Mindfang used to go by "Spinner8," but switched to "Spinneret" when she got tired of people pronouncing it "Spinnerb."
• Headcanon: Karkat discovered Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido while playing Sgrub and found their album to be a great source of strength and inspiration, especially Chain of Prospit. He sometimes listened to it on repeat for hours on particularly rough days. He will never, ever tell anyone, not even Gamzee or Kanaya, and ESPECIALLY not Terezi or Sollux.

I am soooooo tired. Also, sick of thinking about curtains. Why the hell are there so many windows in this place, anyway? Why is my basement freezing? What's that weird noise? I have so many questions. Maybe that's why I'm tired; it's all that mental energy I'm expending on having questions. You see why I needed to make this post and get some of the more inconsequential ones out of my head.

Tomorrow, I will finally remember to buy coffee.