If I'm the Hero...

[logicbutton]

Have decided that homework is beneath me.

The list of Things I Will Do if I am Ever the Hero is a thing of beauty. Back in July, when Order of the Phoenix was the only thing I did to take my mind off my crap job, I decided one day to write a few of my own things I would do if I were the hero, specific to the HP universe. Today I came across the file and thought, "hey, most of these don't suck as much as some of the other stuff I've written; maybe I should post a couple on my lj." The rest is history.

1. If I become aware that my resemblance to someone is causing his past rival’s bad attitude toward me, I will take pains to establish myself as my own person.

 

2. If a friend is doing something dangerous and illegal, I will ask my omniscient and kind Mentor to intervene, rather than involving myself.

 

3. I will not communicate with animals in the presence of a crowd.

 

4. My friends and Mentor are here to help; therefore, when they ask me basic questions regarding my well-being, I will disclose all relevant information, especially if its meaning is unclear.

 

5. When a new concept illustrating the message that things are not always as they seem is presented to me, I will begin questioning the outward appearance of everything to which the concept could possibly apply.

 

6. The rules are in place for my safety and the safety of others. Unless the Evil Overlord is directly involved, I will behave myself. In fact, even if the Evil Overlord is directly involved, I will behave myself, as his plan probably requires me to act blindly heroic, thus providing much dramatic irony.

 

7. When my Mentor tells me I am too young to learn my destiny, I will press the issue. It’s my destiny, and if he gets to know it, so do I.

 

8. I will not be an enabler for my increasingly schizoid Father Figure, nor will I ever assume responsibility for him. He is an adult and can take care of himself.

 

9. When my friend whose logic has always been flawless in the past spots a problem with my plan, I will listen to her.

 

10. The proper way to transport a person with a very small Animagus form against his will is to cage him in this form, not chain him on one side to an extremely dangerous creature and on the other side to my best friend.