logicbutton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
logicbutton) wrote2008-02-26 09:06 pm
logicbutton) wrote2008-02-26 09:06 pm
Entry tags:
Apollo Justice reaction post
Non-spoilery overall reaction:
This was a game of genuine quality. In many respects, I'm both satisfied and impressed. The graphics and sound quality were both better and more varied, the new gameplay elements were innovative, and the characters and storylines were interesting. Furthermore, Capcom took possession of my soul after the third game, so they'd really have to screw things up to lose me now.
HOWEVER.
There were a few things missing from this one that, although they're fairly intangible and I don't know if I'll be able to articulate them properly, were the life and soul of the first three Phoenix Wright games, as far as I'm concerned. Two, to be exact. The first one lies in the characters. I love nearly all the characters from the Phoenix arc, including two that are tied for first place on my list of favorites, which is unprecedented for me. I love pairings and non-pairings of all gender combinations and levels of canon support between pretty much any two (or three or more) characters, in seriousness or crack or anywhere in between. I do not feel this with the characters from the fourth game. The implications are something I'm not going to go into now, but it's something I just wanted to throw out there. The second thing I felt was missing was the optimistic tone of the Phoenix arc. Even though every single case revolved around a murder trial, the circumstances surrounding which were often tragic well beyond the obvious, there was always an air of hope and a climate of silliness and general optimism that I did not feel while playing this game. I did feel that it was darker and more intense, which can be effective, but it is something I don't want to feel while playing a Phoenix Wright game.
With that said, on to the running commentary!
OKAY. So, before I get started with the game, here are the things I've been spoiled for. I hope most of them happen early on, or if they don't, that they're minor. Actually, what I really hope is that I'm mistaken about a few of them, because I'd like to be surprised, you know?
-Phoenix is a hobo. He's no longer a lawyer because he was disbarred.
-Ema is the new Gumshoe. She is brain-breakingly hot. Although not hot like Gumshoe was. ♥
-Trucy, the new Maya, is Phoenix's adopted daughter, whatever that means.
-Maya is the Master of Kurain. She doesn't appear in the game, though.
-Neither does anybody else from the first series.
-You play as Phoenix at one point in the game. (Screw you, GameFAQs forums! Actually, it was totally my fault for poking around there for no reason.)
Okay, that's all I can think of at the moment. Let's move on to the game!
AUGH THIS MUSIC IS SO BAD
PHOENIX. PHOENIX PHOENIX PHOENIX oh my god we are off to a terrible start. On the plus side, Apollo and I seem to hold similar opinions about Phoenix, so I think the two of us may get along.
Everybody's all, "oh nooooo, Phoenix Wright is the defendant!!!" Whatever; Phoenix is accused of murder almost as often as Maya.
Phoenix has the same exact cell phone as always. This is perplexing to me.
Yeah, so Olga Orly is kind of irritating me. I think it's her creepy doll face.
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATH IN THIS CASE. Ha ha, just kidding.
Oooh, I didn't know about the connection between playing cards and the calendar! This case is educational.
Phoenix made an objection! Oh, Phoenix! phoenix
Aww, Phoenix calls Apollo by his first name. I find that very endearing, somehow.
Oh my goodness, Phoenix has A Plan. This is kinda hot.
Hey, I'd just been thinking about how I kept reading Olga's last name as "O rly"! I love being psychic.
Oh man, I'm liking the picture of Shadi Smith patting down Phoenix just a little too much.
I know this happened earlier, but I was just thinking about it, and...it is SO CUTE that Phoenix has a locket with Trucy's picture in it. Awwww!
OKAY. So, ever since Phoenix said something about Apollo finding out later why he had chosen him to defend him, I'd been kind of suspicious of Kristoph, especially since then I remembered a piece of fanart of Kristoph that I saw months ago where he was making Light's Just As Planned face. And then I remembered that I'd seen people talk obliquely about the end of the game where "somebody" was brought to justice. So through this whole trial, I've been worried that I had spoiled myself for the whole damn game, like maybe he was the big bad or something, and it wouldn't come out until the end. But THANK GOD, it's coming out here. Now, no matter what happens, at least the tension is gone. This makes Phoenix L, doesn't it. Oh wow, is that ever a hot idea.
They keep showing that picture of Phoenix getting frisked again...and again...and again...and I will never, ever get tired of it.
Phoenix is co-counsel Phoenix is co-counsel Phoenix is co-counsel omg eeeeeee and they're playing his Objection theme! Best first case ever! Also, longest. I am definitely getting the most for my money with this case.
It occurs to me that now Phoenix has played every role in court except that of prosecution. WHEN WILL THIS HAPPEN? Oh, and judge! Phoenix needs to be judge.
PHOENIX IS POINTING
"My past is like my logic: straight and true. All I did was point the finger of justice in the proper direction." Phoenix is my HERO. Also, awwwww!
Phoenix believes in Apollo! I think I'll believe in him too. Also, "A dark time is coming for our legal system." You mean, darker than when you first became a lawyer, Phoenix? Geez. Although, this ominous pronouncement is exciting to me, in the same way it was exciting when Voldemort got his body back. Phoenix had better not be exaggerating.
Augggghhhhh Phoenix's woobie face is eating my heart. :(
----------
New case! Oh man, the graphics in this opening cutscene are so much better than anything in the first three games. Yay DS!
Wright & Co. Law Offices! WHAT WOULD MIA SAY?
Aww, Trucy is pretty cute.
I love love love Apollo's awkward attempts to rationalize Phoenix and Trucy's ages. Personally, I am kinda wondering when, exactly, he was supposed to have adopted her.
Aaaand Phoenix's hospital room appears to be occupied entirely by DVD boxsets. Or something.
You're not Hickfield! You're Hotti! Or, uh, the Hotti impersonator! But you're not Hickfield! Or actually, maybe you are! But then you wouldn't have a clinic named after you! Because you're not a doctor! ...Argh!
Maya is sending Phoenix toku DVDs! Or somebody is, anyway. I think it's Maya.
"I make 'em so salty, they're saltier than...salt!" Hehe. This reminds me of that Futurama episode. "This is the saltiest thing I've ever eaten. And I once ate a big freakin' bowl of salt!" "Hey, I'll have you know that this only contains half the lethal dosage of salt." "Ohhhh, I shouldn't have had seconds."
Panties. I just. Panties. NO.
Aww, Charley is still in the office! This game is gonna make me cry. WHAT WOULD MIA SAY
Okay, the Kitaki music is all right.
Ema! Yay, a familiar face!
Okay, I'm just grossed out by Eldoon's character design. I understand the hair and the hat, I mean, I get the joke. It's just grossing me out.
I just realized--you can't present people's profiles anymore. What the hell? How am I supposed to know what the characters I ship think of each other?
Yay, Klavier Gavin doesn't waste any time getting slashy with Apollo!
"White powder? I hope it's not what I think it is." Apollo thinks Phoenix is trying to give Ema anthrax poisoning. Or that Phoenix is Ema's drug dealer.
Aww, Ema is so enthusiastic about fingerprinting. To be fair, that is the most fun part of these games. But it's just so cute and inspiring.
On the Court Records fanart page, there's one piece of furry art. It's of Wocky. Now that I've seen him, I kind of get it.
Yeah, the end-of-chapter jingle is just convoluted and nonsensical.
THERE IS TOO MUCH GERMAN IN THIS CASE. Ha ha, just kidding. The name Klavier still really bugs me, though.
Klavier: "COURTROOM = SRSBZNS" Judge: "Well...yeah." Klavier: "LOL NO"
Okay, Klavier's theme is pretty interesting. Edgeworth and Franziska's theme still kicks its ass, though. As does Godot's.
I do love the air guitar.
If this guy is only a junior in college, what's he doing with a cap and gown?
Okay, I'm sorry. I just don't buy this. The stereotype is that ACADEMIC PROFESSIONALS go around wearing caps and gowns, not students; they're mixing their metaphors. Also, this dude's face is creepy as all hell.
Aww, Apollo cries when Trucy turns out to be all right!
Oh my god. TRUCY. What the hell is wrong with you?
"I...settled it!" I laughed out loud at this. In the breakroom at work. Whoops.
Huh, the Perceive music is actually kind of okay.
...Oh my. I'm learning how to use the Perceive system, and I can actually feel the game growing on me. Crazy.
Aww, man, I wanted Klavier to make a slashy joke when Apollo asked for Stickler's phone number! That's the only reason I asked for it first! And then it turned out to be the game-progressing option. Lame. At least he made a joke, though.
Holy crap! Stickler's a panty thief! AWESOME.
I like Alita's sprite where her hands are on her face. It's cute, in a very dramatic way. And speaking of cute sprites, Trucy actually is rather adorable most of the time. Her open-mouth one reminds me of Pearl.
"Looks like the Steel Samurai's in a spot of trouble. I'm sure he'll come back to win in the end. Mr. Wright likes those kind of stories." Aww, it's cute because it's true!
"I can still remember that moment...You brandished those bloomers on high, and shouted..."Objection!" "...Here's what I want you to do, Trucy. Take that memory, gently lock it away deep in your heart, and never speak of it." No commentary, I just want to make sure I never forget this exchange.
"When I'm with Alita...I feel like there's things worth protecting out there. You feel me?" Awww! This is surprisingly sweet.
I've just realized. Throughout the first case and the beginning of the second, all I could think about was how awesome Phoenix was, and how much everything else about the game sucked. Now that he hasn't been around for a little while, everything else has started to look much better. Could it be that, whenever Phoenix is around, he absorbs all the energy from his surroundings and uses it to overshadow them? If the curse of this game ends up being that I start to resent Phoenix, I will be very sad.
"My motorcycle won't start. A clogged exhaust pipe..." It's probably full of panties.
Ema is pretty much made of cute. Also, I love her description of what a prosecutor should be. You just know she's totally talking about Edgeworth.
Heh heh, Phoenix Wright, the Forgin' Attorney. Too bad I won't believe it until I see it. This new messed-up Phoenix, maybe. The blue-suited one with spiky hair? No.
Aww, Trucy Blue is a pretty cute name for a color.
Okay, yeah, I definitely prefer Eldoon without the hat.
Aww, I actually feel really bad for Wocky. I kinda like the kid.
"You need to find me a new mommy one of these days, Daddy!" I like the way you think, Trucy!I wonder what Edgeworth's doing these days...Or, hmm, what about Franziska?
"(OK, see, this is why I don't buy their 'father-daughter' relationship.)" Apollo! Get your mind out of the gutter! Or maybe I'm the one who needs to get her mind out of the gutter. Also, I don't get it. What's so suspicious about what Phoenix just said?
Mmm, Klavier is such a babe. He could just keep talking all day, and I'd never interrupt, and then later I wouldn't be able to remember any of it except for his babe-alicious face.
The judge just made a joke involving underwater basket weaving. He really hasn't changed at all. (How old is he supposed to be now, anyway? He looks exactly the same as always.)
I get it. We're supposed to picture the judge wearing Alita's sandals. It's a joke. I get jokes. But I think I'll picture Klavier wearing them instead. Mmm.
This game's Objection music is okay, I guess, but it doesn't hold a candle to the Objection and Cornered themes from the first game. Neither did the themes from the second or third games, to be fair.
"Admitting to the little crime to avoid the big one, huh?" Alita Tiala/Luke Atmey OTP?
Awwww! Wocky and his dad are seriously going to make me cry!
So Wocky's dad found a doctor who could take out the bullet, huh? I bet that doctor's name is Derek Stiles. :D
-------------
I just noticed that there are no illustrations for solved cases on the title screen. What gives?
Ha ha, Klavier's a total cheapskate. Or just a jerk. Either way.
Oooh, dingbats! I see a phoenix!
Hmm, who's going to be the victim in this case? I'm thinking either the singer, the interpreter, or the pianist. Maybe the pianist, whom the interpreter says is a "dying breed".
For some reason, the pianist reminds me of Mello. I think it's the blonde hair and the frown.
Wow...this animation is pretty terrible.
Ha ha! Klavier's guitar is burning! Pwned!
Hee! Klavier's pouty face is totally worth a burned guitar!
I'll admit my German was never perfect to begin with, and I've lost quite a bit of it...but unless Klavier's speech patterns are really quirky, I'm pretty sure he's not using "Achtung" correctly.
"Somehow I don't think a rocking defense attorney would work so well." I disagree! I would definitely put a poster of lawyer!Phoenix rocking out on my wall.
"Maybe Prosecutor Gavin wears lipstick?" Too easy.
"Hey, it's you! That Wright kid." Hee hee. I approve of you, Ema.
Oh geez, it's the Blue Badger. Yeah, I guess Ema would remember him, wouldn't she?
Oh my goodness, it's LeTouse! Now who will translate for Lamiroir?
Hey, they're spelling "brooch" correctly now! Yeah, no kidding, it does look familiar. It looks like Trucy's. More importantly, it also looks like Franziska's. I want Franziska to be in this game so much that I would be cool with it if she were the killer, just as long as she made an appearance. Oh, hey, maybe she's the siren!
AUGH NO NO MORE POLICE REFERENCES. Great, now "Roxanne" is going to be stuck in my head FOREVER. If anybody, at ANY time, says that "every little thing [Trucy] does is magic," I will cut a bitch.
"They should require parental testing." Apollo is a proponent of eugenics.
Okay, Klavier is definitely using "Achtung" incorrectly.
Mmm, Klavier is playing with his hair. No, no, don't stop on my account! Go ahead...keep playing with it...
"'My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness'?" Canon gay?
Hmm, this mixing board thing is sort of awesome. I wanna do it again!
"Funny, I always thought of Prosecutor Gavin as one of those cool, stoic types. The sort that never complains." Really? I see him as the type that is generally laid-back, but if you hit a nerve, he'll bitch your ear off. Like me!
"(Grr. Maybe I should try to write some lyrics someday.)" Who is he trying to impress?
Argh, more lyrics. John Lennon this time. Stop that!
I'm sorry, the phallic hairstyle is really distracting. I hope he doesn't wear it like that to his day job.
Hey, Klavier showed up at Wright & Co. I don't think Edgeworth ever did that!
Awwww, Machi looks so pitiful! And he still reminds me of Mello!
Yeah, I'm just not seeing how Snackoos can be chocolate. Unless they're chocolate-coated mini-weiners. Ewwww.
"I care surprisingly little about people's pasts." Oh, judge.
I love Ema's names for Klavier. It's funny 'cause it's true. Klavier is a diva. I wish I could still present profiles, 'cause I'd love to know what they think of each other.
"Don't get all worked up, glimmer-boy." Oh man, I really wish I could still present profiles.
I love the sprite where Apollo's looking at the sheet of paper. He looks like a little bunny rabbit. ♥
Oooh, that musical transition just now when I presented the crime scene photo was really poor. :(
"The victim's hand is raised above his head...much like a gesture I have seen many times in this very court." Hee! The judge speaks the truth.
Mmm, closeup on Klavier's face. I'll just keep it there for a minute.
"What, is he some kind of stray that just wanders in and out at will?" Haha, Phoenix is a stray cat.
Hmm, Gramarye hasn't seen Trucy in seven years? Methinks this has something to do with The Mysterious Backstory.
I can't help but feel that all these Gramarye names are puns, but I can't seem to figure out what of.
Oh, crap, we have to watch this terribly-animated video again. Why is it so bad? The Blue Badger video from the first game was really good.
The "purple prosecutor"? That could be anybody! ...Oh, wait, he probably means Klavier.
"Daddy's bad with heights, too. He took me on a Ferris wheel ride a while ago, you know! Halfway through, his face got all green and he mumbled 'objection' over and over." Oh my goodness! Tell us more embarrassing stories about Phoenix, Trucy!
"There's enough sparks flying around here just with you two talking." Trucy ships Apollo/Ema!
"Say 'hi' for me, OK? Oh, and 'screw you'." I like Daryan a lot. He better not be the killer.
Klavier's office may rock, but is it FULL OF AWESOME like Edgeworth's office? No. It is not. It occurs to me that we never saw Franziska's or Godot's offices; I feel this is a failing. Maybe they didn't have offices, seeing as one was only supposed to be in the country temporarily, and the other didn't officially exist.
"I still think he's a special case." Yeah, okay, Apollo. You keep telling yourself that.
Okay, so the first time I examined Klavier's office chair, I was kind of distracted by snacks and thought he was explaining that he liked chairs with integrated crotch massage. Of course, it sounds completely ridiculous when I put it like that, but I think I'll continue to believe it anyway.
Aww, Apollo and Klavier have similar goals. Clearly they are meant to be.
"Because I want women to turn and look when I walk down the street." Oh, whatever, Klavier. You're in a band because you feel that music is the only way your soul can possibly be free, and you're just too much of a prosecutor to admit it. (Can we start describing people with stoic personalities as prosecutor-types yet? I feel it's about time.)
Hmm, who attacked Lamiroir? I vote Phoenix. Just 'cause.
Machi's clothes and his damage sprite remind me of Near. So, basically, Machi reminds me of a Mello/Near hybrid. Or possibly Mello and Near's mpreg lovechild.
"Sample toys: when you can't afford the real thing." "Sounds like a company Mr. Wright would like." Oh snap!
"She said 'sort of'! Oh, to have a copy of that security tape." You know, I am really growing to like Apollo.
"...Valant Gramarye! (...Using the door like an average muggle, no less.)" Valant Gramarye = Arthur Weasley? Valant Gramarye = Dumbledore? Valant Gramarye = the Order of the Phoenix?
Oooh, Incuritis outbreak. Good thing they're living in LA in the 21st century! Could this be a job for...Derek Stiles?
"That's 'Justice'. Better learn how to say it if you ever want to get some." Oh my GOD, Apollo!
"You've got to believe everything your client says! Even lies! That's what Daddy always told me." Phoenix said that? No, he didn't. There is no way this impostor is Phoenix Wright. I'm calling his bluff. "Um, I'll just pretend you misheard him. Every time." I am liking Apollo more and more every day.
...Oh my goodness. If I found Apollo attractive at all, I would think this new, confident, evidence-flinging Apollo was incredibly hot. Maybe I will later?
Awww, crap, it looks like Daryan really did do it. Oh well.
Phoenix! How can you just show up now and expect me to forgive you for all the havoc you've wrought on your universe and...oh, I can't stay mad at you.
Phoenix, are you...are you giving Apollo new evidence? ...Where did you get it? Oh...oh God. Apollo, don't take it. No. Where's Ema? No. Apollo, at least ask Ema about it! Oh no. Oh my god, please let this evidence be real.
Apollo's talking about Wocky again! It's so weird that he's comparing people from different cases, even though it's totally realistic. It's just, you know, Phoenix never did it, so it feels off.
Aww, man, I don't want to find Daryan guilty. This is just like 2-3, when I wanted Ben to have been the killer instead of Acro. I kept presenting stuff to make it look like Ben had done it, and trying to call him as a witness, and the judge kept saying, "I don't see what any of this has to do with your case. PENALTY!!" And I was all, "Oh, really? Perhaps I just need to show you some more...EVIDENCE??" I got a couple of game overs that way. Eventually I decided that maybe I should just let the game progress, but Ben didn't get off the hook without a fight!
Oh. Oh my. How did I not see this before? Seriously, how did it not occur to me until this very moment just how unbelievably hot Klavier/Daryan would be? Daryan inspires him, and...and...*sigh* Ooh, you know what would be especially hot? Straight-guy sex. You know, they're both all, "I AM STRAIGHT. ALSO, YOU ARE STRAIGHT. THEREFORE IT IS OKAY THAT WE ARE HAVING THE SEX. BECAUSE WE ARE BOTH COMPLETELY STRAIGHT. WE LIKE WOMEN. THE FACT THAT WE ARE HAVING THE SEX DOES NOT CHANGE THAT WE ARE STRAIGHT." Perhaps I will make a trip to the kink meme once I'm done with the game. EDIT: Okay, I've requested it, and less than an hour later three people have seconded the request. Good to know I'm not the only one that thinks this would be beyond hot. Edit 2: Someone fulfilled it! And I was so excited that I failed at anon. Oops.
"Man, man, man! How many times do we have to listen to the same thing?" I'm with Daryan on this one. I don't think I can take much more of this stupid song. THERE IS TOO MUCH MUSIC IN THIS CASE.
"Daryan...I'm considering that my last session with you. We rocked." Awww! Klavier is sad. And so is Daryan. I am shipping them so hard right now.
Awww, happy Machi is adorable!
---------------
Wow, mustache-less Valant Gramarye is HOT. Also, Shadi Smith is the other Gramarye, wtf.
Serious Phoenix is pretty fucking serious.
Wow, Apollo is really into this girl! I think. What the hell is even going on here?
"Meaning we can get...erm...scientific now?" Apollo is hitting on Ema in her own language.
"You want to know about my tool, do you?" Ema thinks Apollo wants her to peg him.
"Like the x-rays you get at the dentist?" Trucy goes to the dentist? Does Phoenix have insurance?
So with all this talk of magicians...why isn't anybody mentioning Max Galactica? I thought he was supposed to be pretty good.
Phoenix is Trucy's...Lord...Daddy? Uh...
Oh my goodness! I just analyzed all three paintings, and this conspiracy is actually really intriguing!
Klavier seems a little hurt that Apollo investigated the contents of the red envelope with Ema's help. Sounds like somebody is jealous of somebody.
So. Kristoph!Ema pretty much just gave me a heart attack.
Okay. A fake forger. I can buy that. I have decided to take this to mean that, somehow, the real Phoenix Wright is dead.
"I know it's hard for you, but he's a handsome guy!" "What's 'hard'?" Too easy.
Phoenix...oh my god. Phoenix. The Court Begins music from the first game...this music...
Teenager!Klavier has stupid hair.
BABY TRUCY IS ADORABLE
"PHOENIX WRIGHT'S FINAL TRIAL" Oh god, I think I'm going to cry.
Oh, I miss playing as Phoenix. I miss this music. I don't ever want to go back.
"Talkative, aren't you? I like your affected Euro-rock accent, by the way." Objection! Phoenix Wright the lawyer doesn't talk like that! Phoenix Wright the hobo does, though. I swear, it's like they're different people. (Probably 'cause they are, amirite?)
GUMSHOE. GUMSHOE GUMSHOE GUMSHOE OH GOD GUMSHOE PLEASE STAY PLEASE DON'T GO
I've just begun Gumshoe's cross-examination, and I have some thoughts on meta and continuity that I was going to discuss here, but they're complicated enough that I think I'll write an entirely separate post on them.
Why is Gumshoe acting like this? He and Phoenix are friends at this point; it's been only three months since Phoenix pulled off his most impressive turnabout ever getting Maggey declared not guilty, and you'd think that even if he might feel a little smug at having evidence that Phoenix can't refute, he would be more gracious about it.
OH MY GOD. WHY DID I NOT REALIZE UNTIL NOW that the girl in the photo of Valant and Shadi was Lamiroir? What the HELL.
Mmm, young Valant is so hot. What did he have to grow that pornstar mustache for?
Phoenix's badge number is 26381. Just, for the record. I forget what Apollo's was. EDIT: It's 29003. After Phoenix got his license but before Apollo got his, 2621 new lawyers were made.
Ah, good, a reference to Max Galactica! Continuity is a good thing.
Okay, I admit I had trouble finding the "green liquid" contradiction at first, but only because I had a hard time believing that something so stupid could be a valid contradiction.
"I suppose there's no substitute for experience." Phoenix, you have been doing this for two years.
I cried when Phoenix was disbarred.
"I, Phoenix Wright, will be your guide through this game." Oh god, I just lost it. Again. This is so cool, though.
And I cried yet again when Phoenix pulled out his magatama. This case is going to kill me.
OMG, Meekins! Oh, no, he was fired from being a police officer! Poor Meekins.
I like the magatama animation.
"(I guess all I rate is as a 'backup plan'.)" Aww, Phoenix!
Oh, little Vera is so cute!
NONONONONO Apollo and Trucy can't be brother and sister! No! THERE ARE NO OPPOSITE-SEX SIBLINGS IN PHOENIX WRIGHT.
Ooookay, Kristoph is creeping me out.
"When I go to one of their shows, I'm like, 'Whoa! Magic!' You know?" Phoenix is adorable.
Okay. So, basically, Phoenix is traveling through time (he uses the nail polish bottle from the future to get in with Vera from the past), and Kristoph is pure evil. I get it. Obviously. What?
"One with an entire high school's worth of drama..." I love this phrase.
Okay. So Apollo and Trucy are half-siblings. (I assume.) Maybe my new theory should be that men in Phoenix Wright only have children of one gender?
"I'm not the one who will close the curtains on this play. Apparently, that's not my role anymore." Awww, Phoenix!
Argh why is Phoenix talking to me it's creeping me out
"Ah! My wife has red nails! I see...so she's been painting them all this time!" I love the judge. I can always count on him for wacky hijinks.
Hmm, Kristoph and Klavier's konversation is pretty intense. Maybe I should ship them...no.
"I have to pull that darkness out of him..." Aww! I see why people ship them. At first I thought it was just the rivalslash factor, which I guess I understand, but seriously now, Apollo and Klavier are no Phoenix and Edgeworth.
Oh my goodness! Phoenix has a video camera in his hat! Oh, Phoenix, you're so clever!
"And I'm tired of the whole youthful angst scene." Klavier is world-weary.
WAIT A MINUTE. Kristoph fucked over like four lives because Zak Gramarye dismissed him as his attorney? It's Kristoph's fault Phoenix is no longer a lawyer? Oh my god. FUCK YOU, KRISTOPH. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO MUCH.
"Everything went perfectly." JUST AS PLANNED, EH? Oh, and by the way, FUCK YOU, KRISTOPH.
HEY, I just realized that there actually are some valid Death Note parallels here. Phoenix fights for justice, like L, and has dark spiky hair, like L, and wears blue and white, like L. Kristoph took him out of commission for some stupid petty reason, like Light killed L, except neither of them did it directly--Kristoph got Phoenix disbarred by the court, and Light had Rem do the actual killing. But rather than just sitting around being dead, L had successors ready to take his place, who maybe couldn't have brought down Kira on their own, but were able to carry on L's work and get justice for him. Like Apollo is getting justice for Phoenix! Also, Kristoph takes it up the ass, just like Light. Phoenix/Kristoph for great justice!
"Keep the riff-raff out! Out, I say!" Y halo thar, Laito!
KRISTOPH WHY ARE YOU LAITO Also, Klavier is about to facepalm. Hee!
This is what went on during the planning for the implementation of the jurist system: "Hmm, who should we have host the trial for the jury? Oh, I know, how about a common hobo? That'll resonate with the six ordinary citizens!"
GASP! Jurist no. 6! OMG!
Epilogue! WHOOOOOOOOOO! Trucy calls Apollo her little brother! PHOENIX PLEASE TAKE THE BAR EXAM AGAIN! WESLEY SICKO AHAHAHAHAHA. Awww, Thalassa is pretty! So, wait, do Apollo and Trucy know about her now or not? Oh, whatever. Happy endings, yay!
This was a game of genuine quality. In many respects, I'm both satisfied and impressed. The graphics and sound quality were both better and more varied, the new gameplay elements were innovative, and the characters and storylines were interesting. Furthermore, Capcom took possession of my soul after the third game, so they'd really have to screw things up to lose me now.
HOWEVER.
There were a few things missing from this one that, although they're fairly intangible and I don't know if I'll be able to articulate them properly, were the life and soul of the first three Phoenix Wright games, as far as I'm concerned. Two, to be exact. The first one lies in the characters. I love nearly all the characters from the Phoenix arc, including two that are tied for first place on my list of favorites, which is unprecedented for me. I love pairings and non-pairings of all gender combinations and levels of canon support between pretty much any two (or three or more) characters, in seriousness or crack or anywhere in between. I do not feel this with the characters from the fourth game. The implications are something I'm not going to go into now, but it's something I just wanted to throw out there. The second thing I felt was missing was the optimistic tone of the Phoenix arc. Even though every single case revolved around a murder trial, the circumstances surrounding which were often tragic well beyond the obvious, there was always an air of hope and a climate of silliness and general optimism that I did not feel while playing this game. I did feel that it was darker and more intense, which can be effective, but it is something I don't want to feel while playing a Phoenix Wright game.
With that said, on to the running commentary!
OKAY. So, before I get started with the game, here are the things I've been spoiled for. I hope most of them happen early on, or if they don't, that they're minor. Actually, what I really hope is that I'm mistaken about a few of them, because I'd like to be surprised, you know?
-Phoenix is a hobo. He's no longer a lawyer because he was disbarred.
-Ema is the new Gumshoe. She is brain-breakingly hot. Although not hot like Gumshoe was. ♥
-Trucy, the new Maya, is Phoenix's adopted daughter, whatever that means.
-Maya is the Master of Kurain. She doesn't appear in the game, though.
-Neither does anybody else from the first series.
-You play as Phoenix at one point in the game. (Screw you, GameFAQs forums! Actually, it was totally my fault for poking around there for no reason.)
Okay, that's all I can think of at the moment. Let's move on to the game!
AUGH THIS MUSIC IS SO BAD
PHOENIX. PHOENIX PHOENIX PHOENIX oh my god we are off to a terrible start. On the plus side, Apollo and I seem to hold similar opinions about Phoenix, so I think the two of us may get along.
Everybody's all, "oh nooooo, Phoenix Wright is the defendant!!!" Whatever; Phoenix is accused of murder almost as often as Maya.
Phoenix has the same exact cell phone as always. This is perplexing to me.
Yeah, so Olga Orly is kind of irritating me. I think it's her creepy doll face.
THERE IS TOO MUCH MATH IN THIS CASE. Ha ha, just kidding.
Oooh, I didn't know about the connection between playing cards and the calendar! This case is educational.
Phoenix made an objection! Oh, Phoenix! phoenix
Aww, Phoenix calls Apollo by his first name. I find that very endearing, somehow.
Oh my goodness, Phoenix has A Plan. This is kinda hot.
Hey, I'd just been thinking about how I kept reading Olga's last name as "O rly"! I love being psychic.
Oh man, I'm liking the picture of Shadi Smith patting down Phoenix just a little too much.
I know this happened earlier, but I was just thinking about it, and...it is SO CUTE that Phoenix has a locket with Trucy's picture in it. Awwww!
OKAY. So, ever since Phoenix said something about Apollo finding out later why he had chosen him to defend him, I'd been kind of suspicious of Kristoph, especially since then I remembered a piece of fanart of Kristoph that I saw months ago where he was making Light's Just As Planned face. And then I remembered that I'd seen people talk obliquely about the end of the game where "somebody" was brought to justice. So through this whole trial, I've been worried that I had spoiled myself for the whole damn game, like maybe he was the big bad or something, and it wouldn't come out until the end. But THANK GOD, it's coming out here. Now, no matter what happens, at least the tension is gone. This makes Phoenix L, doesn't it. Oh wow, is that ever a hot idea.
They keep showing that picture of Phoenix getting frisked again...and again...and again...and I will never, ever get tired of it.
Phoenix is co-counsel Phoenix is co-counsel Phoenix is co-counsel omg eeeeeee and they're playing his Objection theme! Best first case ever! Also, longest. I am definitely getting the most for my money with this case.
It occurs to me that now Phoenix has played every role in court except that of prosecution. WHEN WILL THIS HAPPEN? Oh, and judge! Phoenix needs to be judge.
PHOENIX IS POINTING
"My past is like my logic: straight and true. All I did was point the finger of justice in the proper direction." Phoenix is my HERO. Also, awwwww!
Phoenix believes in Apollo! I think I'll believe in him too. Also, "A dark time is coming for our legal system." You mean, darker than when you first became a lawyer, Phoenix? Geez. Although, this ominous pronouncement is exciting to me, in the same way it was exciting when Voldemort got his body back. Phoenix had better not be exaggerating.
Augggghhhhh Phoenix's woobie face is eating my heart. :(
----------
New case! Oh man, the graphics in this opening cutscene are so much better than anything in the first three games. Yay DS!
Wright & Co. Law Offices! WHAT WOULD MIA SAY?
Aww, Trucy is pretty cute.
I love love love Apollo's awkward attempts to rationalize Phoenix and Trucy's ages. Personally, I am kinda wondering when, exactly, he was supposed to have adopted her.
Aaaand Phoenix's hospital room appears to be occupied entirely by DVD boxsets. Or something.
You're not Hickfield! You're Hotti! Or, uh, the Hotti impersonator! But you're not Hickfield! Or actually, maybe you are! But then you wouldn't have a clinic named after you! Because you're not a doctor! ...Argh!
Maya is sending Phoenix toku DVDs! Or somebody is, anyway. I think it's Maya.
"I make 'em so salty, they're saltier than...salt!" Hehe. This reminds me of that Futurama episode. "This is the saltiest thing I've ever eaten. And I once ate a big freakin' bowl of salt!" "Hey, I'll have you know that this only contains half the lethal dosage of salt." "Ohhhh, I shouldn't have had seconds."
Panties. I just. Panties. NO.
Aww, Charley is still in the office! This game is gonna make me cry. WHAT WOULD MIA SAY
Okay, the Kitaki music is all right.
Ema! Yay, a familiar face!
Okay, I'm just grossed out by Eldoon's character design. I understand the hair and the hat, I mean, I get the joke. It's just grossing me out.
I just realized--you can't present people's profiles anymore. What the hell? How am I supposed to know what the characters I ship think of each other?
Yay, Klavier Gavin doesn't waste any time getting slashy with Apollo!
"White powder? I hope it's not what I think it is." Apollo thinks Phoenix is trying to give Ema anthrax poisoning. Or that Phoenix is Ema's drug dealer.
Aww, Ema is so enthusiastic about fingerprinting. To be fair, that is the most fun part of these games. But it's just so cute and inspiring.
On the Court Records fanart page, there's one piece of furry art. It's of Wocky. Now that I've seen him, I kind of get it.
Yeah, the end-of-chapter jingle is just convoluted and nonsensical.
THERE IS TOO MUCH GERMAN IN THIS CASE. Ha ha, just kidding. The name Klavier still really bugs me, though.
Klavier: "COURTROOM = SRSBZNS" Judge: "Well...yeah." Klavier: "LOL NO"
Okay, Klavier's theme is pretty interesting. Edgeworth and Franziska's theme still kicks its ass, though. As does Godot's.
I do love the air guitar.
If this guy is only a junior in college, what's he doing with a cap and gown?
Okay, I'm sorry. I just don't buy this. The stereotype is that ACADEMIC PROFESSIONALS go around wearing caps and gowns, not students; they're mixing their metaphors. Also, this dude's face is creepy as all hell.
Aww, Apollo cries when Trucy turns out to be all right!
Oh my god. TRUCY. What the hell is wrong with you?
"I...settled it!" I laughed out loud at this. In the breakroom at work. Whoops.
Huh, the Perceive music is actually kind of okay.
...Oh my. I'm learning how to use the Perceive system, and I can actually feel the game growing on me. Crazy.
Aww, man, I wanted Klavier to make a slashy joke when Apollo asked for Stickler's phone number! That's the only reason I asked for it first! And then it turned out to be the game-progressing option. Lame. At least he made a joke, though.
Holy crap! Stickler's a panty thief! AWESOME.
I like Alita's sprite where her hands are on her face. It's cute, in a very dramatic way. And speaking of cute sprites, Trucy actually is rather adorable most of the time. Her open-mouth one reminds me of Pearl.
"Looks like the Steel Samurai's in a spot of trouble. I'm sure he'll come back to win in the end. Mr. Wright likes those kind of stories." Aww, it's cute because it's true!
"I can still remember that moment...You brandished those bloomers on high, and shouted..."Objection!" "...Here's what I want you to do, Trucy. Take that memory, gently lock it away deep in your heart, and never speak of it." No commentary, I just want to make sure I never forget this exchange.
"When I'm with Alita...I feel like there's things worth protecting out there. You feel me?" Awww! This is surprisingly sweet.
I've just realized. Throughout the first case and the beginning of the second, all I could think about was how awesome Phoenix was, and how much everything else about the game sucked. Now that he hasn't been around for a little while, everything else has started to look much better. Could it be that, whenever Phoenix is around, he absorbs all the energy from his surroundings and uses it to overshadow them? If the curse of this game ends up being that I start to resent Phoenix, I will be very sad.
"My motorcycle won't start. A clogged exhaust pipe..." It's probably full of panties.
Ema is pretty much made of cute. Also, I love her description of what a prosecutor should be. You just know she's totally talking about Edgeworth.
Heh heh, Phoenix Wright, the Forgin' Attorney. Too bad I won't believe it until I see it. This new messed-up Phoenix, maybe. The blue-suited one with spiky hair? No.
Aww, Trucy Blue is a pretty cute name for a color.
Okay, yeah, I definitely prefer Eldoon without the hat.
Aww, I actually feel really bad for Wocky. I kinda like the kid.
"You need to find me a new mommy one of these days, Daddy!" I like the way you think, Trucy!
"(OK, see, this is why I don't buy their 'father-daughter' relationship.)" Apollo! Get your mind out of the gutter! Or maybe I'm the one who needs to get her mind out of the gutter. Also, I don't get it. What's so suspicious about what Phoenix just said?
Mmm, Klavier is such a babe. He could just keep talking all day, and I'd never interrupt, and then later I wouldn't be able to remember any of it except for his babe-alicious face.
The judge just made a joke involving underwater basket weaving. He really hasn't changed at all. (How old is he supposed to be now, anyway? He looks exactly the same as always.)
I get it. We're supposed to picture the judge wearing Alita's sandals. It's a joke. I get jokes. But I think I'll picture Klavier wearing them instead. Mmm.
This game's Objection music is okay, I guess, but it doesn't hold a candle to the Objection and Cornered themes from the first game. Neither did the themes from the second or third games, to be fair.
"Admitting to the little crime to avoid the big one, huh?" Alita Tiala/Luke Atmey OTP?
Awwww! Wocky and his dad are seriously going to make me cry!
So Wocky's dad found a doctor who could take out the bullet, huh? I bet that doctor's name is Derek Stiles. :D
-------------
I just noticed that there are no illustrations for solved cases on the title screen. What gives?
Ha ha, Klavier's a total cheapskate. Or just a jerk. Either way.
Oooh, dingbats! I see a phoenix!
Hmm, who's going to be the victim in this case? I'm thinking either the singer, the interpreter, or the pianist. Maybe the pianist, whom the interpreter says is a "dying breed".
For some reason, the pianist reminds me of Mello. I think it's the blonde hair and the frown.
Wow...this animation is pretty terrible.
Ha ha! Klavier's guitar is burning! Pwned!
Hee! Klavier's pouty face is totally worth a burned guitar!
I'll admit my German was never perfect to begin with, and I've lost quite a bit of it...but unless Klavier's speech patterns are really quirky, I'm pretty sure he's not using "Achtung" correctly.
"Somehow I don't think a rocking defense attorney would work so well." I disagree! I would definitely put a poster of lawyer!Phoenix rocking out on my wall.
"Maybe Prosecutor Gavin wears lipstick?" Too easy.
"Hey, it's you! That Wright kid." Hee hee. I approve of you, Ema.
Oh geez, it's the Blue Badger. Yeah, I guess Ema would remember him, wouldn't she?
Oh my goodness, it's LeTouse! Now who will translate for Lamiroir?
Hey, they're spelling "brooch" correctly now! Yeah, no kidding, it does look familiar. It looks like Trucy's. More importantly, it also looks like Franziska's. I want Franziska to be in this game so much that I would be cool with it if she were the killer, just as long as she made an appearance. Oh, hey, maybe she's the siren!
AUGH NO NO MORE POLICE REFERENCES. Great, now "Roxanne" is going to be stuck in my head FOREVER. If anybody, at ANY time, says that "every little thing [Trucy] does is magic," I will cut a bitch.
"They should require parental testing." Apollo is a proponent of eugenics.
Okay, Klavier is definitely using "Achtung" incorrectly.
Mmm, Klavier is playing with his hair. No, no, don't stop on my account! Go ahead...keep playing with it...
"'My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness'?" Canon gay?
Hmm, this mixing board thing is sort of awesome. I wanna do it again!
"Funny, I always thought of Prosecutor Gavin as one of those cool, stoic types. The sort that never complains." Really? I see him as the type that is generally laid-back, but if you hit a nerve, he'll bitch your ear off. Like me!
"(Grr. Maybe I should try to write some lyrics someday.)" Who is he trying to impress?
Argh, more lyrics. John Lennon this time. Stop that!
I'm sorry, the phallic hairstyle is really distracting. I hope he doesn't wear it like that to his day job.
Hey, Klavier showed up at Wright & Co. I don't think Edgeworth ever did that!
Awwww, Machi looks so pitiful! And he still reminds me of Mello!
Yeah, I'm just not seeing how Snackoos can be chocolate. Unless they're chocolate-coated mini-weiners. Ewwww.
"I care surprisingly little about people's pasts." Oh, judge.
I love Ema's names for Klavier. It's funny 'cause it's true. Klavier is a diva. I wish I could still present profiles, 'cause I'd love to know what they think of each other.
"Don't get all worked up, glimmer-boy." Oh man, I really wish I could still present profiles.
I love the sprite where Apollo's looking at the sheet of paper. He looks like a little bunny rabbit. ♥
Oooh, that musical transition just now when I presented the crime scene photo was really poor. :(
"The victim's hand is raised above his head...much like a gesture I have seen many times in this very court." Hee! The judge speaks the truth.
Mmm, closeup on Klavier's face. I'll just keep it there for a minute.
"What, is he some kind of stray that just wanders in and out at will?" Haha, Phoenix is a stray cat.
Hmm, Gramarye hasn't seen Trucy in seven years? Methinks this has something to do with The Mysterious Backstory.
I can't help but feel that all these Gramarye names are puns, but I can't seem to figure out what of.
Oh, crap, we have to watch this terribly-animated video again. Why is it so bad? The Blue Badger video from the first game was really good.
The "purple prosecutor"? That could be anybody! ...Oh, wait, he probably means Klavier.
"Daddy's bad with heights, too. He took me on a Ferris wheel ride a while ago, you know! Halfway through, his face got all green and he mumbled 'objection' over and over." Oh my goodness! Tell us more embarrassing stories about Phoenix, Trucy!
"There's enough sparks flying around here just with you two talking." Trucy ships Apollo/Ema!
"Say 'hi' for me, OK? Oh, and 'screw you'." I like Daryan a lot. He better not be the killer.
Klavier's office may rock, but is it FULL OF AWESOME like Edgeworth's office? No. It is not. It occurs to me that we never saw Franziska's or Godot's offices; I feel this is a failing. Maybe they didn't have offices, seeing as one was only supposed to be in the country temporarily, and the other didn't officially exist.
"I still think he's a special case." Yeah, okay, Apollo. You keep telling yourself that.
Okay, so the first time I examined Klavier's office chair, I was kind of distracted by snacks and thought he was explaining that he liked chairs with integrated crotch massage. Of course, it sounds completely ridiculous when I put it like that, but I think I'll continue to believe it anyway.
Aww, Apollo and Klavier have similar goals. Clearly they are meant to be.
"Because I want women to turn and look when I walk down the street." Oh, whatever, Klavier. You're in a band because you feel that music is the only way your soul can possibly be free, and you're just too much of a prosecutor to admit it. (Can we start describing people with stoic personalities as prosecutor-types yet? I feel it's about time.)
Hmm, who attacked Lamiroir? I vote Phoenix. Just 'cause.
Machi's clothes and his damage sprite remind me of Near. So, basically, Machi reminds me of a Mello/Near hybrid. Or possibly Mello and Near's mpreg lovechild.
"Sample toys: when you can't afford the real thing." "Sounds like a company Mr. Wright would like." Oh snap!
"She said 'sort of'! Oh, to have a copy of that security tape." You know, I am really growing to like Apollo.
"...Valant Gramarye! (...Using the door like an average muggle, no less.)" Valant Gramarye = Arthur Weasley? Valant Gramarye = Dumbledore? Valant Gramarye = the Order of the Phoenix?
Oooh, Incuritis outbreak. Good thing they're living in LA in the 21st century! Could this be a job for...Derek Stiles?
"That's 'Justice'. Better learn how to say it if you ever want to get some." Oh my GOD, Apollo!
"You've got to believe everything your client says! Even lies! That's what Daddy always told me." Phoenix said that? No, he didn't. There is no way this impostor is Phoenix Wright. I'm calling his bluff. "Um, I'll just pretend you misheard him. Every time." I am liking Apollo more and more every day.
...Oh my goodness. If I found Apollo attractive at all, I would think this new, confident, evidence-flinging Apollo was incredibly hot. Maybe I will later?
Awww, crap, it looks like Daryan really did do it. Oh well.
Phoenix! How can you just show up now and expect me to forgive you for all the havoc you've wrought on your universe and...oh, I can't stay mad at you.
Phoenix, are you...are you giving Apollo new evidence? ...Where did you get it? Oh...oh God. Apollo, don't take it. No. Where's Ema? No. Apollo, at least ask Ema about it! Oh no. Oh my god, please let this evidence be real.
Apollo's talking about Wocky again! It's so weird that he's comparing people from different cases, even though it's totally realistic. It's just, you know, Phoenix never did it, so it feels off.
Aww, man, I don't want to find Daryan guilty. This is just like 2-3, when I wanted Ben to have been the killer instead of Acro. I kept presenting stuff to make it look like Ben had done it, and trying to call him as a witness, and the judge kept saying, "I don't see what any of this has to do with your case. PENALTY!!" And I was all, "Oh, really? Perhaps I just need to show you some more...EVIDENCE??" I got a couple of game overs that way. Eventually I decided that maybe I should just let the game progress, but Ben didn't get off the hook without a fight!
Oh. Oh my. How did I not see this before? Seriously, how did it not occur to me until this very moment just how unbelievably hot Klavier/Daryan would be? Daryan inspires him, and...and...*sigh* Ooh, you know what would be especially hot? Straight-guy sex. You know, they're both all, "I AM STRAIGHT. ALSO, YOU ARE STRAIGHT. THEREFORE IT IS OKAY THAT WE ARE HAVING THE SEX. BECAUSE WE ARE BOTH COMPLETELY STRAIGHT. WE LIKE WOMEN. THE FACT THAT WE ARE HAVING THE SEX DOES NOT CHANGE THAT WE ARE STRAIGHT." Perhaps I will make a trip to the kink meme once I'm done with the game. EDIT: Okay, I've requested it, and less than an hour later three people have seconded the request. Good to know I'm not the only one that thinks this would be beyond hot. Edit 2: Someone fulfilled it! And I was so excited that I failed at anon. Oops.
"Man, man, man! How many times do we have to listen to the same thing?" I'm with Daryan on this one. I don't think I can take much more of this stupid song. THERE IS TOO MUCH MUSIC IN THIS CASE.
"Daryan...I'm considering that my last session with you. We rocked." Awww! Klavier is sad. And so is Daryan. I am shipping them so hard right now.
Awww, happy Machi is adorable!
---------------
Wow, mustache-less Valant Gramarye is HOT. Also, Shadi Smith is the other Gramarye, wtf.
Serious Phoenix is pretty fucking serious.
Wow, Apollo is really into this girl! I think. What the hell is even going on here?
"Meaning we can get...erm...scientific now?" Apollo is hitting on Ema in her own language.
"You want to know about my tool, do you?" Ema thinks Apollo wants her to peg him.
"Like the x-rays you get at the dentist?" Trucy goes to the dentist? Does Phoenix have insurance?
So with all this talk of magicians...why isn't anybody mentioning Max Galactica? I thought he was supposed to be pretty good.
Phoenix is Trucy's...Lord...Daddy? Uh...
Oh my goodness! I just analyzed all three paintings, and this conspiracy is actually really intriguing!
Klavier seems a little hurt that Apollo investigated the contents of the red envelope with Ema's help. Sounds like somebody is jealous of somebody.
So. Kristoph!Ema pretty much just gave me a heart attack.
Okay. A fake forger. I can buy that. I have decided to take this to mean that, somehow, the real Phoenix Wright is dead.
"I know it's hard for you, but he's a handsome guy!" "What's 'hard'?" Too easy.
Phoenix...oh my god. Phoenix. The Court Begins music from the first game...this music...
Teenager!Klavier has stupid hair.
BABY TRUCY IS ADORABLE
"PHOENIX WRIGHT'S FINAL TRIAL" Oh god, I think I'm going to cry.
Oh, I miss playing as Phoenix. I miss this music. I don't ever want to go back.
"Talkative, aren't you? I like your affected Euro-rock accent, by the way." Objection! Phoenix Wright the lawyer doesn't talk like that! Phoenix Wright the hobo does, though. I swear, it's like they're different people. (Probably 'cause they are, amirite?)
GUMSHOE. GUMSHOE GUMSHOE GUMSHOE OH GOD GUMSHOE PLEASE STAY PLEASE DON'T GO
I've just begun Gumshoe's cross-examination, and I have some thoughts on meta and continuity that I was going to discuss here, but they're complicated enough that I think I'll write an entirely separate post on them.
Why is Gumshoe acting like this? He and Phoenix are friends at this point; it's been only three months since Phoenix pulled off his most impressive turnabout ever getting Maggey declared not guilty, and you'd think that even if he might feel a little smug at having evidence that Phoenix can't refute, he would be more gracious about it.
OH MY GOD. WHY DID I NOT REALIZE UNTIL NOW that the girl in the photo of Valant and Shadi was Lamiroir? What the HELL.
Mmm, young Valant is so hot. What did he have to grow that pornstar mustache for?
Phoenix's badge number is 26381. Just, for the record. I forget what Apollo's was. EDIT: It's 29003. After Phoenix got his license but before Apollo got his, 2621 new lawyers were made.
Ah, good, a reference to Max Galactica! Continuity is a good thing.
Okay, I admit I had trouble finding the "green liquid" contradiction at first, but only because I had a hard time believing that something so stupid could be a valid contradiction.
"I suppose there's no substitute for experience." Phoenix, you have been doing this for two years.
I cried when Phoenix was disbarred.
"I, Phoenix Wright, will be your guide through this game." Oh god, I just lost it. Again. This is so cool, though.
And I cried yet again when Phoenix pulled out his magatama. This case is going to kill me.
OMG, Meekins! Oh, no, he was fired from being a police officer! Poor Meekins.
I like the magatama animation.
"(I guess all I rate is as a 'backup plan'.)" Aww, Phoenix!
Oh, little Vera is so cute!
NONONONONO Apollo and Trucy can't be brother and sister! No! THERE ARE NO OPPOSITE-SEX SIBLINGS IN PHOENIX WRIGHT.
Ooookay, Kristoph is creeping me out.
"When I go to one of their shows, I'm like, 'Whoa! Magic!' You know?" Phoenix is adorable.
Okay. So, basically, Phoenix is traveling through time (he uses the nail polish bottle from the future to get in with Vera from the past), and Kristoph is pure evil. I get it. Obviously. What?
"One with an entire high school's worth of drama..." I love this phrase.
Okay. So Apollo and Trucy are half-siblings. (I assume.) Maybe my new theory should be that men in Phoenix Wright only have children of one gender?
"I'm not the one who will close the curtains on this play. Apparently, that's not my role anymore." Awww, Phoenix!
Argh why is Phoenix talking to me it's creeping me out
"Ah! My wife has red nails! I see...so she's been painting them all this time!" I love the judge. I can always count on him for wacky hijinks.
Hmm, Kristoph and Klavier's konversation is pretty intense. Maybe I should ship them...no.
"I have to pull that darkness out of him..." Aww! I see why people ship them. At first I thought it was just the rivalslash factor, which I guess I understand, but seriously now, Apollo and Klavier are no Phoenix and Edgeworth.
Oh my goodness! Phoenix has a video camera in his hat! Oh, Phoenix, you're so clever!
"And I'm tired of the whole youthful angst scene." Klavier is world-weary.
WAIT A MINUTE. Kristoph fucked over like four lives because Zak Gramarye dismissed him as his attorney? It's Kristoph's fault Phoenix is no longer a lawyer? Oh my god. FUCK YOU, KRISTOPH. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO MUCH.
"Everything went perfectly." JUST AS PLANNED, EH? Oh, and by the way, FUCK YOU, KRISTOPH.
HEY, I just realized that there actually are some valid Death Note parallels here. Phoenix fights for justice, like L, and has dark spiky hair, like L, and wears blue and white, like L. Kristoph took him out of commission for some stupid petty reason, like Light killed L, except neither of them did it directly--Kristoph got Phoenix disbarred by the court, and Light had Rem do the actual killing. But rather than just sitting around being dead, L had successors ready to take his place, who maybe couldn't have brought down Kira on their own, but were able to carry on L's work and get justice for him. Like Apollo is getting justice for Phoenix! Also, Kristoph takes it up the ass, just like Light. Phoenix/Kristoph for great justice!
"Keep the riff-raff out! Out, I say!" Y halo thar, Laito!
KRISTOPH WHY ARE YOU LAITO Also, Klavier is about to facepalm. Hee!
This is what went on during the planning for the implementation of the jurist system: "Hmm, who should we have host the trial for the jury? Oh, I know, how about a common hobo? That'll resonate with the six ordinary citizens!"
GASP! Jurist no. 6! OMG!
Epilogue! WHOOOOOOOOOO! Trucy calls Apollo her little brother! PHOENIX PLEASE TAKE THE BAR EXAM AGAIN! WESLEY SICKO AHAHAHAHAHA. Awww, Thalassa is pretty! So, wait, do Apollo and Trucy know about her now or not? Oh, whatever. Happy endings, yay!