Baal: Whee! I'm the most hedonistic literary character ever and everyone loves me!
All the men: It's true.
All the women: You have no taste, Baal!
Baal: Aw, c'mon sweetcheeks, you know you love me.
All the women: ...it's true. They hide their faces in shame
Baal: Now I will sing an ode to my toilet.
Later
Johannes: So I had this dream that my extra-virginal girlfriend was lying dead under a Schnaps tree. What do you think it means?
Baal: That you should screw her, I guess. Or maybe I should. Whatever.
Baal's Penthouse
Johanna: Oh no! What have I done? I've ruined everything I had with Johannes in a single night! But at least now I have Baal.
Baal: Whatever. Anyway, I notice you're still naked.
Johanna: So...you're not in love with me? You must be joking.
Baal: Whatever. Are we gonna have sex again or not?
Johanna leaves the penthouse and drowns herself
Later
Baal: Hmm, I think I'll kidnap a woman off the street and have sex with her.
Johannes: Sounds good! How about that one?
Johannes captures Sophie and brings her, struggling, to Baal
Sophie: What the hell is going on?! What do you want with me?
Baal: Oh, I think that'll become clear soon enough. My name is Baal.
Sophie: I...see.
She swoons; they have sex. Or something. Later they have more sex.
Sophie: Baal, I'm pregnant.
Baal: Well, whaddya want me to do about it?
Later
Baal: Women are so tiresome. I don't think I like them anymore.
Ekart: Okay!
They have sex. Or something.
Ekart: You're such a great friend, Baal.
Baal strangles him
Police: Hey, that guy's a murderer! Get him!
Baal drops dead in the middle of the woods
THE END
